My Story: Melody LaLuz Fabien
When I was 16 years old, I learned
about abstinence for the first time. There was a program that spoke
to the youth group I belonged to called TRUE LOVE WAITS. I learned that
sex is good, serious and possible to save until marriage. I learned
it’s our choice to wait, if we choose. It’s an option with many
benefits.
We were given the message of
abstinence until marriage and encouraged to make a public commitment
at the end the program that would express to everyone our decision to
wait. If we made that promise to wait, we would receive a gold
ring as a sign of our pledge to wait until marriage. The ring was displayed
on our wedding ring finger, until that special day we would receive
our engagement ring.
But when I heard, “SAVE SEX
UNTIL MARRIAGE? I thought “That’s a nice idea, but until our wedding
day, that’s way too long!”
But the more I learned about
how serious the decision to have sex was, the more I began to seriously
think about it. I learned that sex affects you physically, emotionally,
mentally, spiritually, and socially. I learned about teen pregnancy
and STD’s (Sexually Transmitted Diseases). The statistics 12 years
ago compared to today, have changed. Today nearly 2200 girls get pregnant
every day in America and there are more than 25 different TYPES of STD’s
out there. 1 in 4 sexually active teens have an STD!
Think about that…one, two,
three, four classmates…if they are all sexually active, it’s probable
that one of them will get an STD…
I learned about Chlamydia, HIV/AIDS,
Herpes and other diseases. The more I learned, the more I realized,
I don’t even want to deal with that drama.
I learned that when we have
sex there is an emotional attachment. As I learned and reflected, I
knew what they were saying was true. Two years prior, one of
my close relatives cried on my shoulder when she confessed she had sex
for the first time and the guy never called her back, after claiming
he was “busy”.
I remembered when close relatives
became pregnant before the age of 16 and how stressful and regretful
it was for them. The more I looked around me and saw my friends and
family that didn’t wait, I realized I really wasn’t missing out
on anything. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to wait…
The more I thought about it,
I said “ I want to wait!” I went home and told my mom, “Mom,
I want to wait”…she said, “Wait for what”? I said “I’m not
having sex until I get married.”
With a strange look, she said,
“Why would you want to do that?” Doubting my decision.
This was really hard for me
to hear from my own mom! But I remembered my role model Lakita Garth,
now Lakita Garth Wright.
I had heard her speak at my
high school, Lane Tech. She too, had made a commitment to wait until
marriage and her friends were making fun of her saying, “What if when
you get married, you don’t know what to do?” She replied, “Well,
if we don’t get it right the first time, guess what? We gonna do it
again! And if we don’t get it right the second time, guess what? OH
we gonna do it again and again, and AGAIN until we get it right….and
if that’s the only thing I need to worry about, that’s cool!”
Her story inspired me to keep
my promise, no matter what others thought.
As I kept learning, I became
more and more convinced. I said, “Mom, at the end of the month I am
going to get a ring that I am going to wear as a “Promise ring”.
It will be a symbol of my promise and commitment to wait until marriage.
She asked, “Sweetie, you really think a man is gonna wait for you?”
I said, “Yes”.
She replied, “Sorry, one in
a million!”
I said, “well, I’m gonna
get me my one in a million!” Although it was so difficult and hurtful
to hear, I knew I had to believe and keep my decision.
My mom not understanding my
persistence and my hurt, even said, “Baby, if I couldn’t do it,
what makes you think you can?”
OUCH! Is that true guys? If
our parents couldn’t do something, we can’t?
I made my commitment that summer
at age 16. When my mom went to the ring ceremony, she too began to change.
The parents that attended were asked to put the rings on their children
who were making the commitment. When my mom placed the ring on my finger,
she cried with tears of joy and said, “I am so sorry. I don’t know
why I was fighting with you about this. This is a good decision. I am
so proud of you. I didn’t know this when I was young, and I didn’t
have this, I wish I did”.
I made that promise when I was
16 years old. I am now 28 years old and in 2006 at age 26, while on
a mission trip in Africa, I found my one in a million! His name
is Claudaniel Fabien…
He traveled from Tuscan Arizona
and I was from Chicago, but we met in Uganda Africa both there to fight
against AIDS. He too was there to teach abstinence and believed in the
lifestyle just as I did. We exchanged information and began a friendship…that
friendship blossomed into a romantic love story.
November 29, 2007, Claudaniel
packed all his belongings and drove from Arizona more than 1900 miles
to live in Chicago. That move then lead to him asking me an important
question. On the night of July 29th, 2008 while visiting
family in Miami, Claudaniel asked me to take a walk with him down Sunny
Isles Beach. Under a starry night sky, as I looked up at the stars,
CD wrote something in the sand. He grabbed my hand and walked
me over to letters written in the sand, WYMM.
There was also a huge X in the
sand, and he said “X marks the spot, there is a treasure in there”.
I dropped to my knees and began
digging and found a white box! When I opened it, it was empty,
I screamed, “CD!” He then pulled a small black velvet box
from behind and asked, Melody LaLuz, will you marry me?”
I threw my hands in the air like I won a marathon and screamed with
joy, “yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!” with laughter and excitement.
I took off my promise ring and
gave it to Claudaniel in exchange for my engagement ring.
Four months later, on Nov. 29th,
2008 my dream came true…I married my best friend and we shared our
first kiss…and well, you know the rest…